Hey God. It’s Fu Hu. I don’t know quite how to say…
Hey God.
It’s Fu Hu.
I don’t know quite how to say this… but I seem to be stranded upside down on a branch.
Again.
Last time you were kind enough to send that zoo keeper to catch me and I don’t think I properly thanked you for that. In fact, I might have said something along the lines of, “Suck it, God! I have a zoo keeper!” Looking back, that may have been poor wording on my part. I realize the error of my ways now. So I’d like to apologize for that and all other transgressions.
Like the time I kicked Lum Lum in his lum lums.
The time I bit that tourist and pretended afterwards to have rabies.
The time I murdered that escaped Lemur and buried him under the water feature.
The time I was playing facebook scrabble and googled big words. I don’t even know what a quixotic is.
I’m really really sorry for all of those things. You see, this branch is very high up. It’s possible I could severely injure myself if I fall. Neither of us wants that, right? I’m pretty sure your son Jesus said, “Be kind to Pandas and don’t throw stones at people.” So if you could be kind enough to help me get out of this predicament, I would sincerely appreciate it.
Wait. The zoo keeper is coming over.
SUCK IT GOD! MUHAHAHA!
